Selam with Cheese on Wry, and a Joe (to go)

Every time we travel, something gets left behind or damaged beyond repair: Dan’s prescription sunglasses in Cape Cod, Dan’s new Crocs in Oklahoma, my prescription sunglasses in California; the list goes on, and on, and on…

Our most recent loss was a real tragedy: Joe’s duck blankie. He normally doesn’t sleep without it. It was definitely on the road to woobie-dom and in need of a “vacation” (read: wash). But “Ducky” really was his favorite.

Joe is actually doing okay, all things considered, and we’ve distracted him with other blankies and stuffed animals. Thankfully, after much internet searching, I found a replacement, which is on the way priority mail. It will hopefully fit the bill (no pun intended).

I’m almost wondering if I should order an extra (or two or three). On the other hand, he’ll soon be able to memorize every smudge, mark, and blemish, so I’m not sure if that’s the best solution. But the panic I felt upon realizing that Ducky was gone was quite real, and it made me wonder what other folks do about baby’s favorite animal or woobie. Any suggestions?

Wow. My first Mother’s Day. Me. I’m a mom. And I love it…even if my first was a bit impromptu.

Honestly, Dan and I both sort of forgot. We were in Seattle most of the week and flew home late on Saturday night. We knew we wanted to spend Mother’s Day with Noni P, but the day sort of creeped up on us and we didn’t have plans as of this morning.

Dan took care of Joe and let me sleep in, which was divine. When I did finally get up, we scheduled a time to pick up Noni P for lunch, then made a few phone calls. Luck was on our side and we were able to score a last-minute reservation at The Fort in Morrison for their all-day brunch.

Our reservation was later in the day, so we took a drive to Red Rocks first and had a stroll around there. What a perfect day for the trip! The sky was clear enough to see to the airport and it was a lovely 80 degrees (according to one blinking sign in Lakewood). We didn’t realize that this was Noni P’s first trip to Red Rocks; she just loved it and that made the day even more awesome.

We arrived at The Fort about a half-hour early — starving, but hopeful — and they sat us right away. Their brunch spread was, well, one word: YUM. And the good stuff was surprising: perfect asparagus, divine fresh pineapple, and the sweetest of shrimp. They also had quail, bison sausage, and the typical (but not typical tasting) brunch fare. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. Mmmm mmmm. I really wish I had taken my “buffet bag” to sneak home a few extra goodies…

It’s wonderful being close to family for holidays and special occasions. Having Noni P in town for this past few weeks has been an utter delight and now we just can’t wait until Germom gets here too. Anyone else considering a relocation? We’d love to have you nearby!

Last Tuesday, Dan flew to Seattle on business. Joe and I joined him on Wednesday despite the fact that I had been feeling pretty lousy since the past weekend. (Right now Tuesdays are our only “nanny” days and therefore the only days I can work.)

Getting to the airport was a little challenging. (I really need to relearn how to pack light. I used to be so good at it.) Thankfully we discovered that we live all of 5 minutes from a major RTD transfer station with a direct bus to the airport. Faster, easier, cheaper. Can’t beat that. (A great option for visitors too…hint hint.)

Joe, as usual, was an angel on the plane and was zonked out before we got off the ground. Ditto the return trip, despite the brood of screamers behind us.

The trip was a nice getaway even if I was laid out in the hotel room the first couple of days. We still had the chance to order terrible (and terribly overpriced) room service food and watch Lost.

When I did feel better, we strolled the waterfront and compared dive fish-and-chips joints. (Yeah, those sushi bar plans flew out the window when we realized how difficult it would be to take Joe into a nice restaurant.) We took the obligatory (and fun) jaunt through Pikes Place Market and watched the fish throwers. We walked around the grounds by the Space Needle. Joe was pretty active and wanted to push the stroller anytime we weren’t en route somewhere, so we tried to indulge him as much as possible.

On Saturday, we stumbled across a great “Spirit of West Africa” event at the Seattle Center. Joe was absolutely captivated by the Nigerian drummers and stood on Dan’s lap — dancing and clapping — for a good 20 minutes. Anyone with boys knows how rare it is for an 11-month-old to do *anything* for 20 minutes straight, so now I’m absolutely convinced that we need to start taking Joe to music classes…and soon.

Overall, a good trip. I’m just not sure Joe is going to make it until age 2 as a “lap infant.” He’s going to need his own seat soon. Man, that kid weighs a ton!

A random aside: I’ve traveled to Seattle in the past and really loved it. But if this had been my first trip, I’d be singing a different tune. I’m not sure if this trip was tainted by my lousy disposition since I was under the weather or if we had bad people karma or if the ever-present downtown construction had everyone’s panties twisted in a wad or what. Folks were generally rude and grumpy…locals and tourists alike. There were several instances where people completely ignored me visibly struggling with luggage, strollers, and doors. No one offered help except one guy walking into the grocery store opened the door for me and the paid staff at the hotel we stayed at did too. (Other people cut me off and would get in my way as I was trying to push the door open and get the stroller through at the same time. Incredible.) I had a really bad experience with the shuttle driver from the airport. (I should file a complaint with Grey Line, but probably won’t; the driver on the way back to the airport was really nice.) I hesitate to say that the transracial nature of our family had anything to do with it given the diversity and liberalism in Seattle, but we did get an unusual number of scowls.

Little man Joe is walking most of the time that he’s on the loose. Up until now, he made attempts to walk a few steps (his max has been about 22 steps) and then crawled the rest of the way at super speed. Dan and I could hardly keep up with him when he was on all fours.

Yesterday that balance shifted in favor of walking. I wasn’t feeling too hot and Joe was getting bored with the walker. So, I brought him in our room, made sure it was safe, and set him standing on the ground while I laid on the bed to sooth my upset stomach. Joe stayed upright, wobbled a bit, took a step, and grinned. Then off he went. Walking like a drunk, but walking. And he really didn’t stop. If he was wobbly, he’d just pause, teeter forwards and backwards until he stayed himself, then continue to move along. When he fell, he simply stood up on the spot, regained his balance, and kept on going. It seemed as if only as a last resort he’d crawl a few feet to the nearest handhold, heave himself up, and then off he’d go again.

Joe is now able to turn in a different direction while walking, bend over to pick up something then stand up again, and pull, throw, and make a general mess of things all in the upright position. I’m still not sure whether to be excited at this new development or terrified about what’s to come as his mobility and personality develop in sync. For example, the door to our closet doesn’t latch and, since Joe has an infatuation with doors, he made a beeline for the only door that he could play with. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Joe teetered the arc of the door this way and that, and was having a ball. It didn’t take him long, however, to find more entertainment inside the closet. Over the weekend, we installed a shelving system and organized our bazillions of pairs of shoes (yes, Dan has as many or more than I do, even if they are primarily Crocs). Within seconds, Joe had every shoe from knee-height down (translate=my shoes) strewn across the closet floor. I pried away a sandal he decided to chew on, cleaned up the mess, shut the door as much as I could, and tried to distract him. Not a half-hour later, he rediscovered the shoes again and thought that tossing them around the closet was a real riot. I finally learned that there was no need to put them away again unless I was certain he was done playing that game. Not a big deal, but also probably only the tip of the wild man iceberg.

What really has me nervous is tomorrow. We’re flying again. Alone. Dan left for Seattle today; Joe and I will join him tomorrow. We’re staying on the 19th floor and our room has a balcony. Talk about nerve wracking experiments in parenting. I’m keeping the kid strapped to my chest with the Baby Bjorn carrier for the rest of the week!

We just realized that you can order photo quality prints for pickup at Target stores from the Flickr website. Simply click on the photo bar in our blog, which will take you to our Flickr photo site. Then click on the individual photo and let it load so that it’s the only one on the page. (If you don’t already have a Flickr account, you’ll have to sign up for one to complete the rest of the steps.) Once the photo is loaded AND you’re logged in to your Flickr account, click on the words “Prints and more” and add the quantity and size to your shopping cart. At check out, you can choose between mail delivery or Target store pickup. Cool huh?

It’s over. It’s just beginning. It’s official. However you slice and dice it, it’s wonderful.

Today was our day in court. We set our alarms to get up at the crack of dawn and get ready for the big day. Joe looked super spiffy in his new “Bagger Vance” duds. (I couldn’t resist, even if white pants are a foolish option for a crawling — and walking — boy.) We left early, making sure we arrived at least an hour before our appointment. Grandma Debbie and Granddad Bill met us at the courthouse. (They flew in late last night.) We were all pretty calm, even though our social worker arrived just before they let us all in the courtroom. It helped that the court officials like adoption hearings, the “fun” part of their job, so they really made us feel comfortable.

There were six adoption hearings during our time slot. We all went into the courtroom together (no one objected, an option they gave us). Dan, Joseph, and I were called up second on the docket. The judged asked Dan and I a few questions, we answered, and midway through the questions, the judge gave Joe a foam gavel to play with (to stop Joe from beating on the table with his hands — it worked). The judge pronounced the adoption final and that was that. Since cameras were allowed, we took a couple of photos with the judge (sorry, they ended up blurry), then we followed our social worker to the clerk’s office to get the paperwork certified.

The whole process took maybe a half-hour. We almost didn’t believe it: we had finally jumped through the last and final hoop. We’re his. He’s ours. The family we’ve become in our hearts, minds, and souls is now official on paper too. Gotcha!

Joe took his first steps today. Woo hoo! (Or oh no…I’m not sure.) Dan is particularly proud of the fact that his son took his first steps in a library. We made a pit stop at Dan’s work tonight on our way to Noni P’s new apartment. Joe was leaning on a chair while holding a toy that he didn’t want to let go of. He stood and balanced and Dan moved the chair away. Joe had to take four steps, unassisted, to reach the chair. We repeated this little act several times to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. Pretty cool. [ Update from Dan: here's a bad pic from my cell phone, a few minutes after the "First Four". Yes, libraries ARE incredible places for learning and development...and no, Joe is NOT running from the Arnold Schwarzenegger ( a la Terminator) looking health model! ]

A few weeks ago, I wanted Joe to get a professional barber cut to “clean up” my clip job before our photo shoot. Dan was skeptical, but took him in. There was a slight misunderstanding at the barber shop and Joe’s beautiful little starter ‘fro was shorn down to 3/16″. I screamed when the boys walked into the house. Then I cried and we both moped around the rest of the day. On the plus side, it was a good haircut. It helps that Joe is a cutie patootie and has a nicely shaped head. The good news is that hair grows. The bad news is that we don’t want to wait. This photo was taken on March 25th, the day Joe got his head shaved. We learned some interesting things that day, like the fact that most AA kids don’t get first haircuts until age 2 (according to the barber, though why he waited to tell Dan that until after the haircut, I’m not sure). Well, one lesson learned: no more haircuts for Joe. We’re goin’ natural. I think. Depends on his hair texture, which seems to be straight/wavy more than kinky/curly. It’s already almost 3/4″ long and still pretty straight. I found a nearby beauty shop familiar with adoptive families asking the obvious questions about AA hair, so I might head over there tomorrow.

Joe seems to get heavier and heavier, despite the fact that he isn’t getting any longer and not really any wider. He’s just dense, I guess. Our little brick. The little man is still in a size 12 months in most quality clothes, but can fit into smallish 18-month sizes too. He has long arms and not so long legs.

What surprised us most recently was the size of his (not so) little Flintstone feet. You see, the weed is learning how to walk, so we figured that it’s time for Momma-the-tightwad to suck it up at the register and buy the kid some quality shoes. Given my feet issues (mainly, the almost annual spraining and breaking of my left foot because I so easily trip over flat ground), shoes are the one thing that I always splurge on for the family. So, we went to Nordstrom and had Joseph’s feet measured. I was surprised that he came in at a size 4-1/2, which explains the difficulty we were having getting those size 4 shoes on him (oops). I should have known…I’ve been buying him 2T socks…

It’s not easy to find soft-soled shoes for beginning walkers in a size 5 (the size they recommended since half-sizes are hard to find in most brands, and he needed growing room anyhow). Joe’s chubby ankles won’t do well with Robeez (elastic at the ankle), so we’ve been keeping him in gripper socks in the house. But we really needed shoes for the outdoors, since he’s always wanting to be on the ground (to practice those walking skills). We found one brand we love: See Kai Run, my absolute most favorite shoes out there. I don’t think we’ll buy another brand for quite awhile. The quality is awesome and the styles can’t be beat. During that same shopping trip, I stumbled across the most adorable orange and yellow shoes. They look great with all of  Joe’s bright-colored outfits.  Nordys also has an awesome pair of kelly green  shoes that are next on our list of must-haves. Check these out!

OK, back to the update: Joseph now has 4 teeth, two on the bottom (center) and two eye teeth on the top (the left one is still struggling to break through, but you can see it). He climbs and walks (holding on to things) like crazy and crawls at the speed of light. We do use a walker under close supervision, though he’s starting to be a terror, always operating at “rabbit” speed (for those of you who don’t know electric carts, that’s the fast setting). He loves to run into us at full speed. We’re getting used to wearing shoes in the house just to protect ourselves. No doubt Joe will be upright on his own in no time. We just bought two more gates and started the official cabinet babyproofing.

We still have to watch Joe like a hawk (not that we wouldn’t) because he puts EVERYTHING in his mouth. He’s very attached to his binky. His favorite oral fixation is paper (he’s already “eaten” several baby board books, so we have to stick with the cloth ones for now). And he’s getting darned good at clenching his jaws to avoid a finger swipe to clear his mouth. He does the same with food when he doesn’t want to eat. Over the past few weeks, he’s been refusing solids a lot. He must be feeling better, because he ate like a horse today. We suspect it’s a combination of asserting independence and having sore gums, and perhaps growth patterns. Joe seems to enjoy feeding himself finger foods, but hates most veggies and has finally figured out how to spit out what he doesn’t like. He lets us know when he’s done or if we give him something he doesn’t want: he simply picks it up and throws it on the floor. At least the hardwoods can handle it.

Given the craziness, Joe’s schedule has been out of whack, especially with the ongoing teething. We go through Tylenol like it’s water. Not my first choice of remedies, but he really complains without it. Literally. He’ll moan and “chastise” me and get all dramatic and start biting on everything (including me) without meds. Rumor has it that adults couldn’t stand the pain of teething, so I’m giving the kid some slack and giving in to the meds. Besides, the doctor gave me the thumbs up.

Joe’s pretty restless at night, even after a long, hard day on the playground. Sleep issues are probably our number one concern. We’ve been trying everything, but my nerves are already so frayed that I don’t have much patience for the nightly screaming that accompanies bedtime (and Dan doesn’t hear it, so I can’t put the earplugs in). Lately we’ve been letting Joe fall asleep in our bed and moving him to his crib. Then I have to get up every couple of hours to coax him back to sleep (usually a binky and a quick backrub does the trick). I’m hoping that my nerves will calm down in time and I’ll be able to stick to the routine. I just can’t stand listening to him cry. I still think our comfortable bed might have something to do with his dislike of bedtime, so the second we can safely give him a softer mattress, we will. In the meantime, Joseph must go to sleep with “duckie,” his yellow mini blankie (it has a duck head and a small square of plush blanket) and, of course, his binky (though he’s less selective there; any binky will do).

Finally, on the development front, Joe is really starting to understand more and communicate in his own way. He’s always been chatty, even if these days he’s still stuck on “dadadadadadada” in varying inflections and the occasional “nananana” or “babababa” (no “mamamama” yet).  We weren’t consistent with sign language so he’s not really signing (except “more,” we think), but today he waved when he heard folks say “bye.” That was a first! (We say good-bye and try to get him to wave every morning when Daddy leaves for work.)

We’ve set up a playroom in the front sunroom where Joe can go crazy with his toys. He mainly likes to hold (and suck on) and walk around with a single megablock (he’ll throw the big ones with multiple connectors), empty all of the megablocks out of the wagon, or throw them across the room. He especially likes the black one, but the purple or blue one will do in a pinch. He loves pushing his walking car back and forth across the carpet, running into a wall, and demanding help to turn. He also enjoys “playing” his piano and turning the pages of the music book (which changes the song on the piano). He’s quite active and physical and, at times, has a short attention span. Definitely all boy.

Joe has been increasingly testing his boundaries and understands “no” even if he primarily grins in response. We’re well aware that we’re facing a delicate time in asserting who’s boss and need to be serious and consistent. It’s just that he’s so darned cute even when he’s pissing us off, it’s hard not to laugh at his devilish antics!

Sorry, I haven’t posted lately, folks. April is crazy busy with Joe and I traveling, Noni P moving out here, Joe’s finalization happening at the end of this month (woo hoo!), trying to figure out how to file a tax extension (yuck), and my ever-hectic work schedule despite reduced childcare availability. Oh, and did I mention that one cranky teething active boy isn’t sleeping so well at night?

I finally took a breather today (a “breather” being an 8-hour work day while Joe is with the nanny) only to realize (aka “freak out”) that neither Joe nor I had confirmations of new healthcare coverage after our group insurance runs out at the end of April. So that Joe could keep his same doctor (or at least have flexibility with finding a new one), I applied for Colorado-mandated “high risk” insurance for him in mid-March. Then I applied for Kaiser for myself around the first of April.  See why here.  Say what you want, but I like Kaiser; I’ve had good experiences in both California and Colorado with Kaiser, and I’m relatively healthy, so I figured it was a good bet for me.  Fingers and toes were crossed that they wouldn’t reject me again.

Today I made contact with both insurers. Not an easy task for the not-so-persistent (aka non-squeeky). I was clearly exasperated and at wit’s end. It must have shown because both companies put our applications through speedily and gave us answers today — and not the answers I was expecting! Kaiser approved me in writing and I have a verbal confirmation that Joe’s insurance was also approved (cross your fingers that I get something in writing quickly).

Can I get a collective “whew!”? If we hadn’t qualified for these plans, our insurance costs would have been two to three times what we’re going to pay, which isn’t chump change, let me tell you.

On another health note, Dan’s back is still in pretty bad shape. Actually, it’s his leg that is bothered now (bulging disc is pressing on a nerve that runs through his leg). He’s having a pretty tough time saying “no” to basic things like bending over, picking things up (like our ever-expanding Joe), and generally doing anything but relaxing. He’s still in physical therapy and his specialist thinks he might be a candidate for a steroid (injection?) therapy.