Joseph and I are headed to the Bay Area to help Noni P pack up her stuff for the big move to Colorado. Woo hoo! (Dan has a crazy busy work schedule, and is in the middle of physical therapy, so he can’t go.) We decided to extend the trip and stay with Dan’s folks so that I could work on campus for a couple of days (for those who don’t know, I work at Cal, remotely of course) and let Joe get in a good visit with the grandfolks.

I had an interesting booking experience. I was committed to not fly on United (I explain why below) and I found a killer deal on Southwest Airlines. I booked it and then called in to add Joe as a lap infant to my ticket as I’ve done for all previous flights. I was floored when I was informed that I needed to arrive “early,” stand in line at the ticket counter, and fill out a triplicate form. There was no way around this. I would also need Joe’s birth certificate. I tried to explain that Joe was in the middle of an adoption and his birth records are sealed; we couldn’t bring a birth certificate as we had no access. The best I could do was bring a court order giving us custody, but Joseph’s name wasn’t on the paperwork. There was some confusion about whether or not his shot records might suffice.

I asked again and again why this was necessary since every other airline only requests a name and birthdate over the phone, then allows you to print out a boarding document online and go directly to the gate. Southwest officials, including a supervisor, indicated that this was their policy, a security procedure, to account for everyone on the plane. I declared that the entire process was ridiculous, archaic, and family unfriendly. They offered to refund the ticket and I took them up on it.

After our last experience with United (read my original post from September below), I booked a flight on Frontier, which has the most family-friendly ticketing policy I’ve found to date. They actually have a lap infant selection for their online booking system, so I was able to book Joe (for free) at the same time I booked my flight. I called in just to be sure. They said as long as there wasn’t a question about his age (under 2), then we wouldn’t need any additional documentation. His boarding pass would print out with mine, which would get us through security, then we could proceed directly to the gate. The extra $30 fare was worth it. And the flight times were much better for Joe’s schedule. We leave on Wednesday!

The truth about our last flight experience.

I didn’t post the following excerpt last September because I didn’t want to rant at the time. But given our recent booking experience, I thought it might serve as a bit of humor and a warning for parents not used to traveling with kids in tow:

September 5, 2007, Denver, CO — Since baby Joe is a seasoned traveler, another plane ride to California was as easy as pie over Labor Day weekend. At least for Joe. Mommy and Daddy were a bit more frazzled. First the shuttle from the parking lot nearly side-swiped our car, then the same shuttle driver ignored Dan and his 6 bags while I got on the shuttle. When ol’ Jesus tried to tell Dan he’d have to take another shuttle, that didn’t go over so well. Let’s just say that Dan got on board with our luggage. And we all made it to the terminal just fine, even Jesus. Security was a breeze.

At the gate, we went to board and were told to wait (we had seating number 4). I knew that United had changed its policy about families with small children, but the gate attendant on our last flight let us pre-board. She must have been sympathetic to first time traveling parents. Not this time. No siree. You see, United no longer allows families with small children to pre-board. Nope. Those first-class and priority members need to sit on a hot plane for 25 minutes while the families struggle with carseats and strollers and diaper bags, not to mention the fussy kids. Um hm. That makes sense. We were told that there are too many families with small children who now travel to allow them any kind of special preference. But I squeeked loud enough in front of everyone that she let us on after the first boarding.

The cherry on top? The flight wasn’t full, so the gate attendant told us to go ahead and take the carseat on board and use either of the middle seats in our row. (Dan and I both wanted aisle seats, so we got them in the same row, but across the aisle.) Then we realized that there were folks sitting at both windows. I offered to switch with the guy on Dan’s side just to be polite not make him suffer through “baby on board.” Only once we were settled in did the stewardess (no, I won’t dignify her by calling her a flight attendant, you’ll see why) come by to tell us that FAA policy demands that the carseat be placed in the window seat. I said that we hadn’t even booked the window and I’d rather sit in my assigned aisle seat if that was the case. But she said that, no, it didn’t matter that we hadn’t booked a window; someone would have to switch with us. (So glad that we upgraded and paid extra for the aisle seats with legroom and then were so considerate of our neighbors.) Apparently the carseat in the middle seat blocks the row and the person at the window can’t get out (despite the fact that I walked to my seat on the other side of the carseat without removing it. Hmmm…).

This same stewardess was “helping” a late arrival find a place for her carry-on. And rather than physically lifting the older woman’s bag, she raised her voice and said, “will someone help put this bag up?” I’m all for helping other people and being a friendly neighbor in general, but the stewardess was right there next to the woman. And, um, I don’t remember getting paid to work on this flight — quite the opposite. The old lady looked flustered (or pissed, I’m not sure) and heaved her own bag up (though two gentleman seated nearby did make the effort to help).

De-boarding was just as fun. Dan rushed Joe to the bathroom for a needed diaper change while I waited for our gate-checked stroller. Two employees in the jetway rudely asked me to move out of the way of the door where the gate-checked bags arrive. I complied, sort of, just to avoid a scene. (By this time, I was in a splendid mood and figured it was better to avoid an all-out brawl.)

When the stroller finally arrived, these two guys had to move away from the door, so I stood right there in the middle of the jetway blocking them from whatever important duty they had (I think they were waiting for the plane to de-board). I calmly removed the stroller from the bag, opened the stroller, folded the bag, packed it in the stroller compartment, and eventually went on my way. They were mightily irked, but I was oddly satisfied that I stood my ground.

Way to go United. Treat those of us already frazzled from getting the kids to the airport like we’re second class citizens. Getting us adults all bent out of shape really helps us to have patience with our cranky kids. And that really does wonders for their moods too. A great flight experience for everyone on board, no doubt. Next time, we’re flying Southwest.