You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2008.
Favorite activity: running wild and throwing things
Yep, this one is lasting.
Favorite routines: bath time, storytime
When we say “Want a bath?,” Joe stops what he’s doing, drops whatever he’s holding, and runs to the kitchen. (We have a big single sink.) He loves to stand up and flash the neighbors through the kitchen window. Great… He also likes to have his own cup and “rinses” himself (by pouring water in his face). We’re starting to flood the kitchen more and more (it’s flowing onto the floors instead of just the counter), so we’re anxious to get the new bathroom finished! Joe also likes us to read books. He’ll grab a book from the shelf, take it to one of us (seated in a chair in his room), then expect to sit on a lap. We normally make it through a short board book, unless he changes his mind and gets down to find another one.
Favorite musical past-time: playing the kazoo or dancing
Dan brought home a kazoo from a conference goody bag and showed Joe how it worked. Joe caught on the first time. Now we can say, “Joe, play the kazoo” and he does. What a hoot! Joe just loves music. Dan’s a little worried that he prefers to dance over playing, but I think he likes both and just prefers to have company helping out with the rhythm. Joe also loves Dan’s guitars, which are on display in the study. Every time he walks by, he gently touches the strings on one, then runs to the other and does the same, and grins. A lovely little musical interlude.
Favorite comfort: binky or Ducky (Orange Ruffy and Snuffles come in second)
No real changes here.
Favorite parent: “Dada”
Joe still gets excited every time Dan comes home. He also prefers Dan whenever he’s tired (read: cranky) or hurt.
Favorite yummies: any edibles (fruit, crackers) and rocks
Joe’s getting a tad bit picky, but I think that’s because he’s teething (again). He prefers crunchy foods at these times (raw celery and carrots especially, but he bites and spits). He’s starting to eat the peas out of snap peas, so we’re going to try edamame soon. He’s very texture sensitive and wasn’t wild about the chickpeas tonight. Although, he’ll never pass up tomatoes or fruit (mandarin oranges are the latest). He’s also still lovin’ to suck on rocks. And he’s sneaky too. I found him gnawing on a tiny pebble the other day. Thankfully, he still gives up the goods upon request.
Favorite toy: a vintage Oscar Mayer weinermobile
Every time Joe wakes up, he reaches and whines for this. We acquired this from my grandparents, who got it from some other relative. I have a special affection for the weinermobile, which I remember seeing as it drove by my preschool (the one with the big orange pumpkin). So, we indulge Joe on this one.
Favorite book: Snuggle Puppy
A cutie by Sandra Boynton, but again requires Mom’s (bad) or Dad’s (good) singing. Thankfully for me, Joe hasn’t shown a preference.
Favorite song: Snuggle Puppy
See above.
Favorite latest adventure: shopping at Costco
Joe had a ball getting snacks around every corner. Surprisingly, they were mostly healthy the day we went.
Newest trick: creative climbing
We were unloading something from the truck the other day and had Joe in his playroom (the sunroom at the front of our house). We noticed him looking out the window at us and realized he was standing on one of the plastic chairs we keep in there, which he does often and has become pretty agile about. We looked away for a split second and when we looked back, Joe was standing on top of the radiator (it’s covered with a soft foam mat), which is about two feet off the ground. I’ve never seen Dan run so fast.
What Joe isn’t wild about: brushing his teeth
We’ve been giving Joe a toothbrush twice a day since he had his first tooth. He prefers to “brush” his own teeth (read: chew on the toothbrush). Sometimes we can trick him into letting us get in a few swipes, but he usually fights us on this front. This one is going to be a challenge.
Getting better at: utensil use, stairs
Joe is using both a fork and a spoon and he’s getting pretty good. Unless he’s excited, then the utensils enable him to fling food even farther. Oh joy. We’ve also been working on going down stairs. When I hold his hand, Joe goes forward or likes it when I swing him down stair-by-stair. When I don’t have ahold of him, he’ll turn around and go backwards…most of the time. Oh, and he’s quite proficient with step stools and ladders, as we found out, so those are now always put away.
Definite obsession: shoes
Joe’s shoes, my shoes, Dan’s shoes. It doesn’t matter. Joe loves shoes. Putting them on, taking them off. Helping us do the same.
Emerging skills: imaginative play, identification, drawing
Dan’s really been working with Joe on this and now he’s showing real signs of creativity. He’ll make engine sounds when the trucks “go” and take other toys for “rides.” He’s also engaging more with toys that have multiple parts. We’re also working on sorting/categorizing, body parts (Joe can touch his “nose” “toes” and “tummy” on command; we’re working on eyes, ears, mouth, and more), colors, and numbers. On the color front, Joe got his first crayons and has started scribbling with Dan. OK, he ate the tip off the red one the first time, but he’s making progress.
Challenging areas: verbal development
Joe is definitely chattering and having extensive conversations about something, but he’s just not making any real sense to us. And he’s missing some significant letters and sounds (like “m” and “ma”). We’re not worried yet, since he’s so far along in physical development. He definitely understands us, but we think some of his physicality and the occasional aggressive response to us may be a result of not being able to communicate. We know that he understands several signs, but he absolutely refuses to use them. He also gets really irate every time we say (or try to get him to sign) “please.” Go figure.
I wish I had better news. Mrs. Chavez never called the day following my last inquiry and I have been in such a royal mood that I totally wimped out on my threat to be a really squeaky wheel. That’s probably a smart decision. Sometimes I just get plain bent out of shape and handle things miserably, so Dan took the reigns today. He called in to the local SSA office, talked to someone who flat-out admitted that the “summer intern” (aka, “Doogie”) they had working screwed up Joe’s file. They’re missing all hard-copy paperwork, though they do have electronic copies. Dan schlepped down there today to take in our originals and got a bit of priority treatment. He was in and out in minutes. But the end result was the same: Joe’s state of birth still hadn’t responded to the verification request. The gal with whom Dan spoke promised to confirm with another SSA employee that the paperwork was indeed sent to Joe’s state of birth, but did not offer to confirm that Joe’s state of birth actually received it or to help figure out where it might be in limbo-land. (Apparently federal employees are incapable of picking up the 1,000-pound phone to figure this out. Who knows? Maybe it’s a no-no to call a state office? Dan is planning to call the vital records office, but it was too late today, so he’ll have to follow up out of state another day.) This SSA employee also promised to call Dan with Joe’s social security number once it was issued, but I’m not holding my breath given their track record.
While Dan was so occupied, I sucked it up and started our much-belated taxes. The extension runs out in a couple of weeks. We have no ID number for Joe, so the bottom line is that we can’t claim Joe as a dependent, won’t get any kind of tax rebate for him, and, as a result, we have a higher tax burden, despite crazy amounts prepaid in estimated taxes. I also confirmed that we absolutely cannot claim any adoption expenses in 2007 since Joe’s adoption wasn’t finalized, so that’s the rotten cherry on top.
All I can say is that this was a hard lesson learned (and still being learned) and I hope other adoptive families (and maybe adoption agencies) will learn from our error. Advice: if your agency doesn’t give you a clue about this (like ours…sheesh, they could have just handed us the form or pointed us to the IRS website; we didn’t even know it was an option until April 13th). The second you have a child placed in your custody, apply for an ATIN (Adoptee Taxpayer Identification Number). At finalization, apply for only one birth certificate through the courts. Get an extra certified copy of your finalization papers (or several) at the court on the day of finalization. Then, the second you have a chance, FedEx a request for several certified birth certificates from your child’s state of birth (especially if you don’t live there). Have them sent priority on the return. The second those puppies are in your hands, take one and the kiddo in question to any local social security office (preferably one in the ‘burbs with less “traffic”). If you suspect that the person helping you is too young to work for the federal government full-time, ask for a supervisor to process or oversee your paperwork. Follow up long before the suggested completion date and do so frequently. Keep notes of names, dates, what people said, and get anything and everything you can in writing. Most of all, good luck.
Most of you know that we are committed to keeping Joe away from sugar and processed foods as much (and as long) as possible. I’m not crazy anti-sugar–(some of Joe’s snacks do have modest amounts of added sugar, but we only dole those out in tiny portions, and rarely)–but I do my best to make sure that Joe eats healthy. Even his first birthday cake was decidedly sugar-free. Now I have one particularly healthy and fit 15-month-old who always wants to eat salad and reaches for the tomotoes off my plate. And I’m pretty darned proud of that.
We usually control what Joe eats, at least when he’s with us, which is 99% of the time. So, Joe’s introduction to chocolate came a bit unexpectedly. It was, you might say, a surprise experience for me. For Joe, however, it was definitely an experience.
Yesterday, we went shopping. I often appease an antsy Joe by giving him something to handle while we stroll down the aisles. It keeps him occupied, and quiet. So, while wandering through Target, I handed him a 1 lb. bag of Halloween M&Ms without thinking. I figured that the candy would be noisy banging around and might be slippery enough to challenge Joe’s dexterity.
Now, normally, Joe is in a cart so I’m looking right at him. And, normally, he has a binky in his mouth, especially when he’s teething (which he is right now, and badly). In fact, Joe was in a stroller since we had gone to the outlet mall first and I hadn’t noticed the missing binky. He had just finished a bottle, so I didn’t think anything of his exceptional silence. Then I looked down and saw the bag in his mouth. I turned the stroller around and stood there, wide-eyed, mouth gaping, as I stared in shock and horror.
I found Joe covered — I mean, covered – in chocolate. He had bitten through the package and was stuffing M&Ms in his mouth…with a fair amount of glee, I might add. Joe’s hands–and his face, his shirt, his vest, even parts of the stroller–has a glossy coating of rich milk chocolate. I heard a nearby snicker from across the aisle and saw a couple peering around to look at Joe. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud myself. It really was a scene. And it was one of those times when, if you don’t laugh, you cry. I opted for the happy route. It took half a package of baby wipes to get him sort of clean. I think the shirt and the knit vest are gonners, though.
I only wish I had a camera with me. It would have been so worth it to have this kodak moment preserved.
We still don’t know how big Joe is officially since his next doctor’s appointment won’t be until early December. But I can tell you he is heavy and maybe a wee bit taller. He’s filling out more and is almost entirely in 18-month-size clothes, even if some brands are too long in the leg. (Poor little guy quite often walks around with the feet of his sleepers flopping around…can’t put him in the smaller sizes though because his Flintstone feet won’t fit!)
Weight: guessing around 28 lbs.
Height: not sure, but maybe 31″ by now
Shoe size: 6 wide
Number of teeth: 10; 6 on the top and almost 4 on the bottom (2 of which are cutting through right now)
Favorite activity: running wild and throwing things
Nothing has changed in the last month, except Joe’s size and strength and a new interest in banging things on the (fragile, antique) glass in his play room windows. NOT good.
Favorite games: dancing to mommy’s bad singing or spinning until he falls down
Joe always dances every time he hears music or song. Always has. He has several instruments and toys that play some kind of music. He’ll also dance if we sing, which is pretty scary when mommy is doing the singing. Fortunately, Joe hasn’t realized how bad mommy sounds, and he dances anyhow. “Dancing” consists more often of a kind of running in place. It looks like a combination of tap dancing and Irish dancing. (River Dance, here we come!) Sometimes, he’ll crouch down and step fast. Every now and then, Joe turns in circles when he dances. Even when he’s not dancing, he likes to spin around and around until he falls, then giggles until he can get up again!
Favorite comfort: binky or Ducky
No changes here, though he has shown some interest in other stuffed animals and “hugs” them often. He also taps them on his forehead, which, for some reason we don’t understand, is how they kiss him. (When we say, “give me a kiss,” he also presents his forehead. The only thing we can figure out is that he doesn’t want to take out the binky.) When it comes to the stuffed animals, he seems to prefer “Snuffles,” the white Gund polar bear that Shannon’s mom gave her when she trotted off to Australia at 18 or “Orange Ruffy,” an Old Navy beige dog with long orange ears, paws, and nose.
Favorite parent: “Dada”
Joe still gets super excited every time Dan comes home.
Favorite yummies: fruit, fruit, fruit — and bread
Joe still eats a pretty balanced diet and has added raw spinach and sugar snap peas to his meals, but his favorite food remains any kind of fruit. We found some awesome grapes at the store the other day and he wouldn’t stop eating them while we were shopping; fortunately, they weren’t charging by the pound. (And, yes, I cut grapes into tiny pieces and make sure there are no seeds.) He also loves mango, but we suspect he may have a food sensitivity or allergy to them. Bummer. He’ll also eat as much bread as we give him, so I try to keep it to whole grain when possible and only small portions. We’ve given him little tastes of sugary stuff, but really try to avoid it. A couple of weeks ago, I gave Joe a few bites of ice cream (aka, baby crack) and he bounced off the walls for a couple of hours. I won’t make that mistake again.
Favorite word: none lately
He doesn’t seem to prefer any particular words lately. I think this is a good thing. The babbling continues unabated, but we can’t really understand him. The binky doesn’t help with enunciation, but he’s clearly trying to talk and seems to be having conversations.
Favorite toy: a broom
Ever since we went camping, Joe goes gaga over any long-handled cleaning instrument: broom, mop, duster. He’s actually pretty good at mimicking the cleaning process. I hope this interest grows!
Favorite book: The Itsy Bitsy Spider
It’s a tabby book, but he’s more interested in dancing while we “read,” aka sing the song.
Favorite song: The Itsy Bitsy Spider
See above.
Favorite adventure: play date at City Park playground
Joe had a play date with another little girl his age last week. The nanny met up with another nanny at the City Park playground and Joe had a ball climbing through the tunnels and whatnot. The nanny reported that he seemed to have a real interest in the little girl, too. The little girl lives only a couple of blocks away, so hopefully this will continue!
Newest tricks: climbing over, climbing down
As much as he’s a climber, Joe’s short little legs have prevented him from heaving himself onto his rocking elephant. Recently, he’s been able to make it — with a little effort. The rocking chair isn’t as easy. He also has no fear, so often tries to stand up and walk off anything he’s on: chair, sofa, bed, stairway. And despite a few head bonks, he hasn’t developed a fear of heights. We’ve been able to teach him how to shimmy backwards off the chair in his room and the couch in the living room, and most of the time, he remembers to go backwards off our very high-off-the-ground bed. We’re still working on stairs. He can climb up okay, but still wants to walk straight off them going down. Maybe we’ll have to model going down stairs like a toddler. Or he’ll have to spend more time with his peers to figure this one out.
What Joe isn’t wild about: watching TV
No change there, though we’re hoping that once the downstairs den is set up and we have a TV somewhere besides our bedroom, then Little Man Joe might give mommy a 15-minute break every once in awhile.
Emerging abilities: utensil use
Joe’s got the concept–utensil in food, utensil in mouth–even if he doesn’t quite have the motor skills. We have a cool, soft spoon that works pretty well with applesauce and yoghurt. The metal one sucks because food just slides off. He prefers the fork, but that means cutting bigger pieces of food. Most often, he ends up using his hands after a long effort, but you’ve got to give him kudos for trying.
Potential obsession: shoes
Joe has always been interested in shoes, but now he gets really excited about putting them on and taking them off, and sometimes just playing with them. He knows just where we keep his shoes in his closet and, if he really wants a pair, or three, he’s been clever enough to find something to stand on so that he can reach them. Hey, maybe he’ll have really good fashion sense!
Yup, alot of people assume we adopted Joe internationally and give some pretty interesting responses when we tell them he came to us from a little closer to home. For those of you who know his origins, the place name has been changed for Joe’s sake. (Where he’s from is his story, and he can share it when he’s old enough, and if he chooses to do so. But you get the gyst!)
8:01am: It has been 8 weeks and 1 day since we applied for Joe’s social security card. 8 weeks and not a peep from the SSA. They did give us this nifty letter when we applied, complete with a SSA local office stamp and someone’s initials (that are completely illegible). It included a couple of phone numbers we could call and a nice long reference number. I was specifically told by the Doogie Howser kid who took our application that the process could take up to 6 weeks, but that we could call for a status update before that. He said they wouldn’t give me the social security number over the phone, but they should tell me if it had been issued and then I might be able to schlep into the office and find out what it is.
So, this morning, I called. After nearly throwing the phone through the window because of the most idiotic voice-prompting system I’ve ever experienced (they didn’t want to put me through to an agent without entering Joe’s social security number - ugh!), I finally got through to a recording that promised to take my number and call me back. About fifteen minutes later, the less-than-helfpul agent on the other end of the line informed me that, no, the reference number was no help; it was only good at the local office. (Huh? That’s stupid.) She put me on hold when she realized that Joe was an adoptee and when she came back on, I explained that this was still his first social security application. I spelled his name, again. She paused and seemed to be looking up his information on her computer. Her response: there was no record for Joe. No record? No FREAKIN’ record!!?? You’ve got to be kidding me?!? I was told that I needed to go to my “local” office and straighten things out. Oh joy. Guess what we’re doing today after Joe’s nap (and once I cool down a bit)?
9:12am: So, I calmed down and decided to give the local office a try on the phone before I dragged Joe and I down there. I was on hold for about 15 minutes (they didn’t have a nifty call-back feature). Someone finally picked up, baffled, because she didn’t do social security numbers. She worked “in the back” and wanted to know if someone transferred me by mistake. It turns out that the downtown office just moved (thank goodness I called; I would have been so pissed if I had taken Joe down there by bus only to find a “We’ve Moved” sign on the door). Anyhow, because of the move, their phone system is acting up. Sounds like they’re just really discombobulated from the move. That I understand.
Anyhow, after insisting that she was the wrong person to talk to and telling me that it was impossible to transfer me and, that, even if she could, no one would give me any information about Joe. No status, nothing, nada. Security, privacy, protection, you know? Nope, I’d just have to come in. Well, that wasn’t gonna cut it with me. No sirree. I kept asking over and over for help. I cajoled, I complained, I pouted that it had already taken too long, I begged (hey, for Joe, I’d do anything), I whined about their no-food/no-drink policy and the difficulty that presents with a baby when there’s a long wait, I explained that I needed to know what to bring and asked if there was someone, anyone, who might be able to hint at what the problem was. I wasn’t going to let her hang up. That was clear. You can’t really blame me. I wasn’t about to schlep Joe downtown for no good reason without exhausting every other option first.
Finally, my persistent squeeky-wheelness paid off. She looked up Joe’s application. It turns out that we’re waiting on Joe’s state of birth again, this time to verify the birth certificate. She also told me that ol’ Doogie was a summer intern (ah ha! So I was probably right to worry that he screwed up). She even offered to print out Joe’s file and give it to one Mrs. Chavez, who was out of the office today, but would call me when she returned. She even gave me an extension. Now we’re getting somewhere. Except that this is a federal office, so I’m not holding my breath.
OK, Mrs. Chavez, now it’s up to you. I need your help. Please, oh please, get on the horn with the necessary people and get that birth certificate verified. I’ve got taxes to pay (or, maybe, get back and we could SO use those right about now). And savings accounts to set up. And a passport application to submit (you never know)… And remember, I have your number and I’m not afraid to use it.
Hey, you don’t have to be a Republican to be an lipstick-wearing agro “hockey” mom. And this is one snarling bulldog you don’t want to mess with. He he he.
The last month or so has been a wild ride at our house. Dan’s mom (Nana to Joe) moved out here about the third week of July in the midst of a crazy hot and long heat wave. At the end of the month, we took Joe to the Dragon Boat races on a blistering hot Sunday and ate snowcones while hovering under a lone sparse tree on the opposite side of the lake. (Can you tell it wasn’t my favorite day?) Then, in the middle of August, Dan and I flew with Joe to Reno, rented a car, and drove to Twin Lakes (just outside of Bridgeport) to go camping with my family, where the heat continued unabated. (Global warming sucks.)
In between these adventures, we’ve been working (frantically) on the basement because Dan’s stepmom (Grammie Lo to Joe) was planning to come out for a visit shortly after we returned from our camping trip. Well, the good news is that the guest room was livable by the time she arrived (it had a floor, baseboards, and a bed).
Laura’s visit was nice. She was such a trooper and dragged Joe all around town, to the park, the zoo, and the local deli around the corner. (Rumor has it that Al Gore was spotted in front of the flower shop around the corner from our house while she and Joe were across the street at the park. Unfortunately, they missed him! If that was him… It could have been. There are some muckety-mucks in our ‘hood — well, the nicer part, a few blocks away — including the mayor and an ambassador, maybe? I see those international limos with all the flags every now and then.)
Laura even jumped on the bus to downtown with Joe and ran the gauntlet of security at the Pepsi Center so that she could get a photo of them in front of the “08 DNC” signs (with her local paper). Grammie Lo also taught Joe that the half-dozen stuffed elephants he acquired when he was born (because mommy went on a random elephant hunt — it’s over now) are called “Republicans.” She also threatened to buy him a donkey! He he he. We still can’t understand him, so it will be interesting to see what he calls elephants when he does talk. I can only imagine the looks of bewildered strangers at the zoo when he does make sense!
The last few weeks have been spent helping Nana get situated in her new condo, helping Noni P sell her two houses in California (so far, both are under contract — woo hoo!), and continuing to work on our house. (In addition to finishing the basement, we’ve had a historic window restoration guy tuning up our disfunctional-but-in-good-condition-windows and building new storms, so hopefully we won’t freeze this winter!) Dan had to go to Indianapolis for a few days for a conference a couple of weeks ago. And today, his new boss started at the office! He’s got several more conferences (most local) in the next couple of months. Joe and I will probably accompany him to Breckenridge in early October to see the fall trees. We’re looking forward to that!
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