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Joe got a new hat today, quite by accident. I bought a bunch of hats for Dan and I to try on.
Yo, baby.
I didn’t realize that this cute purple hat was a boy’s hat. It was in the women’s section and fit me perfectly. Of course, it fit Joe too, since Joe and I can share hats (…between my pinhead and his big ‘fro!).
Joe says "CHEESE!"
I’m so glad I have a hubby who appreciates fun and funky fashion and doesn’t get intimidated by colors like purple and orange…
"Yeah, mama! I like it!"
I love dressing Joe in fun colors, especially the ones I can’t wear nicely (like yellow and orange, yeah baby!). But I do wonder if I’m going to look back on these photos someday, get a good chuckle, and wonder what I was thinking?! (Like my purple polyester bell bottom jumper that I wore when sitting on Santa’s lap when I was 5…thanks mom!)
All done.
Joe has been spending an awful lot of time with his buddy, Zack, mostly because Zack’s folks, Shawn and Albert, have graciously become Joe’s third family (Mama Cole, Bill, and Maggie are his second family). Tonight, we dropped off Joe at the Gallego’s house so that we could celebrate my birthday (dinner at Sushi Den – yum!). Joe, not surprisingly, had a blast hanging with Z!
Joe and Zack watching trees blow in the wind
Lately Joe has been really attached to Shawn and wants her to hold him all the time. (See our friend Kari’s blog post.) Maybe it’s because she’s “super cool” and lets him do stuff (that mama won’t) like play with her (real) camera.
My little shutterbug
Albert has an incredible knack for getting Joe to sit still. When we arrived tonight to pick up Joe, he had been sitting down listening to several stories. (We’re lucky to get through one at home!) In fact, the very first time Albert and Shawn watched Joe was also the first time Joe sat still on the couch (for a long time) to watch a movie. I think Joe responds the same way to our friend, Bill (Maggie’s dad). Hmm…maybe we need to have the guys watch the kids more often?
Albert keeping the boys entertained with tools, trucks, and trains. What more could the little guys ask for? (Dinosaurs riding trains, I hear.)
Uncle Albert's storytime
The weekend before Joe's first day of school
Today was Joe’s first day of preschool. I’m proud to announce that we all survived.
As a mom who has been blessed with wonderful caregivers and accustomed to a close partnership with nannies, I certainly felt a great deal of trepidation about this whole preschool thing. I wasn’t nervous about how Joe would fare emotionally. He’d adjust. I was worried that he’d be too wiley, too fast, or too out of control. And I’m not the kind of parent who feels guilty about putting him in preschool. If they can handle him, it’ll be really good for him. He needs some structure and socialization with larger groups, neither of which are things that I can easily provide (trust me, I’m a total pushover and need someone else to enforce rules). And, honestly, I’ve been looking forward to it. Preschool is a pretty big milestone.
Today was the big day. Of course, after a week of restless nights, Joe finally decided to sleep well into the morning. We had to wake him up to get ready for school. We were in such a rush that he barely ate breakfast, but we made it out of the house and walked to school. We even arrived on time. Drop off was a bit chaotic since it was the first day. But we made it out of the classroom and Joe apparently didn’t fuss too long after we left.
When I picked him up at 3pm, the teachers had all the kids in the hallway, lunch bags in hand. I heard Joe wailing from the end of the hall. Apparently, the minute they walked into the hallway, some parents were there. When he didn’t see me immediately, he lost it. Fortunately, I got there early today, so he hadn’t been crying for long. Once he turned off the waterworks, he was a pretty happy guy.
We didn't capture the typical first-day-of-school shot we wanted, but here's a glimpse into Joe's first day in the classroom at preschool.
We collected his things and made it all the way across the street before Joe demanded food. So we plopped down right there on the grass and broke out his still-heavy lunch bag. No wonder he was hungry…he hadn’t eaten his sandwich or most of his snacks! (His sandwich wasn’t unwrapped, so I ended up calling the school and got the scoop from his teacher, Miss Bev. Apparently they couldn’t find it under the ice pack, so they didn’t bother feeding him anything but snacks, and he didn’t even eat those.) So, we sat on the grass (well, Joe sat, stood up, ran around, and repeated the pattern several times) and watched the kids leaving school with their parents while he munched on a quarter of his almond butter and jelly sandwich, some cashews and cheese. And then we packed up and headed home. Of course Joe didn’t want to walk, so I had to carry him. Seven-and-a-half blocks is really far when you’re hauling 30-odd pounds of kiddo in the most uncomfortable way.
Overall, Joe had a good day with no “major” problems. Aside from “escaping” 3 times (they caught him halfway down the hall once and in the other 2-year-old room the other times), not napping (and trying to wake up the other kids), and being too “bouncy” to eat his lunch, he fared ok. I’m not sure I can say the same for his teacher, though she did assure me that they would “work” with him. She also said that she might ask me to come in if he doesn’t “stay put” in the classroom. Great. Our little beastie…what can I say?
I got so fed up trying to wrangle Joe to fix his hair one day, I just pulled it back in a ponytail and let him play. He didn’t mind and he was thrilled that I didn’t have to fuss with his hair. We thought he looked pretty cute, but the post-ponytail results were rather…er, funny!
Too busying playing to care about the hair... [Update 10/26/09: We thought about sending him to school with this easy do, but haven't had the guts yet.
Joe definitely had that Crab Man look going on...
Joe attacking Dan from behind. He was acting as fun and crazy as his hair looked!
Just to leave you laughing...
On the Colorado Trail
We needed to get away from it all and decided to try camping with Joe for a long weekend…on our own. I admit I was a bit nervous about the idea without a support network or Granddaddy Bill’s RV, overnight sitter included. But Dan arranged for us to use his coworker’s permanent trailer, not far from San Isabel National Forest…basically between Buena Vista and Salida. It’s river territory, awash with rafting companies and kayakers, but thatwasn’t an option with our terrible two-ber. So, we decided that the best plan was no plan at all, beyond the intention to do a little sightseeing and easy hiking.
We got a late start on Thursday and left after (instead of before) Joe’s nap. We hit some rush hour traffic, but made decent time. We figured that we’d stop and stretch our legs so that Joe wouldn’t get too antsy. And we had the old standby–Cars–via the portable DVD player we clamped to the back of seat. Joe was cranky about being confined for the “long” car ride, which put everyone on edge, but we made it all the way to the Colorado Trail without stopping. We decided to go for a hike despite the drizzle and muddy path. It seemed like a good idea until Joe tripped over a tree root and the mosquito swarm started. We didn’t make it far before we headed back to the car. With overcast skies, we realized that the light wouldn’t last long, so we blasted through the rest of the drive, stopping only once for gas and to grab a pizza slice in Fairplay. We made it to the trailer just in time to get set up for evening.
Hanging at the river in Salida with daddy
Of course, nothing could be that simple. Joe had energy to burn and wanted to run around. He didn’t go down easily once bedtime came (Dan ended up singing him to sleep), and he woke up in the middle of the night frightened by new surroundings. Not realizing the time, I tossed him in a too-cramped-already-for-us bed, and he kicked and kneed us, and generally did somersalts for the rest of the night. By the early morning hours, we were all pretty bleary-eyed and cranky. We decided to spend our first day scoping out the scene, especially when we realized that Joe had a fever (which somewhat explained his foul mood), so we drove through Buena Vista, infusing ourselves with caffeine (and yummy scones at Bongo Billy’s) and made sure that Joe had a solid dose of kiddo Tylenol. Joe fell asleep in the car, so we headed over to Salida. He woke up by the time we got there (we went the long way) and he played near the river for awhile, climbing on rocks with Dan and slapping the water with a stick. Boy, I had forgotten how cool it can be for a two-year-old to watch leaves float down a river…We walked around town, where Joe tried to open every door and really wanted to check out the “tooools” in the hardware shop. We finally landed at the local toy store and Joe found a super cool large die-cast “tuck”–which, I might add, did not leave his hands the rest of the trip (without a fight). We ended our tour of Salida with a quick lunch at a cafe on the water.
Joe feeding the St. Elmo chipmunks
Joe napped again in the car after we left, so we took a drive to St. Elmo. Joe had a blast feeding the chipmunks…until he decided it was more fun to haul the seeds around in the bed of the truck and make truck sounds while he “drove” the truck all around the boards of the feeding grounds. I’m sure the crowd wasn’t thrilled about our terrible two-ber terrorizing the little rodents, so Dan was able to convincingly lure Joe away from the area to a large rock that was much better for playing trucks. (Whew.) Even though Joe was perfectly content watching the feeding frenzy, he didn’t complain too much about taking a walk through town so that mommy and daddy could see all the old buildings and take some much-needed breaks.
Joe and Dan walking through St. Elmo
If you can negotiate your way past all the ATVers (well, mostly their trucks and trailers) on the drive up the dirt road, St. Elmo is worth the visit. It’s a ”ghost” town that is in the process of being restored and claims to be in the best shape of all Colorado ghost towns. (But it’s still pretty well inhabited, so that had me scratching my head a bit. There’s even a nice guesthouse right when you drive up.) I get the impression from the hundreds of private property/no trespassing signs that the local community has a love-hate relationship with its historic “attraction.”
We ended the day with another round of pizza, but this time it was the good stuff (a yummy veggie combo from family-friend Moonlight. Heads up: their “breadsticks” are like loaves of bread…for a buck). We even managed to enjoy a microbrew on tap before Joe began to totally break down…despite the box of sidewalk chalk they loaned us to keep him busy on the patio. The day ended with all of us collapsing for a decent night’s sleep…and Joe stayed in his own bed until 7am (hooray).
"Hiking" with dada on the Agnes Vailles trail
By Saturday morning, Joe’s fever was still teetering on the edge and his mood was sour, so we decided to do one quick hike before heading back on the road. We loaded up on caffeine and yummies, then went for a hike up the Agnes Vailles Fall trail. We were excited to arrive at the trailhead early, with only two other cars in the lot. But, by the time we unloaded Joe, nine additional cars had pulled in and the hoards (and their dogs) spilled out. Fortunately, we were slow enough that we ended up walking in a lull between crowds. You see, despite the fact that he seemed exciting to go “iking wif dada,” Joe absolutely, resolutely refused to walk. And every single person in those nine carloads (plus several others who pulled into the lot afterwards) knew exactly who we were by the time we reached the end of the .5 mile trail, thanks to Joe’s protests and vocal “exercises.” Dan ended up letting Joe ride on his shoulders (a compromise, since Joe onlywanted to be carried in Dan’s arms). This short hike ended up taking us about 2-1/2 hours, with several stops (in part due to the fact that mommy, in her haste to pack the day we left, forget her inhaler and wasn’t sucking air as quickly as needed). But that also included a long pause at the end of the trail, where Joe scrambled over rocks on his own, once he saw all of the other kids there. Joe napped while we packed up, so Mr. Cranky was very awake by the time we got on the road. Aside from a quick stop at Al’s Pit BBQ (somewhere east of Fairplay, can’t remember the town), we hauled home as fast as speed limits (and really bad drivers) would allow.
Everything seemed “normal” after we arrived home and Joe went down easily, but he just woke up at 10:30 screaming like crazy and in pain. Wish us luck and Joe a quick recovery from whatever this is. You can’t get hand, foot, and mouth disease twice in a row, can you?
Today Joe had his first visit with the Easter Bunny. (After three traumatizing trips to Santa over the past couple of years, we decided to hold off on giant “stuffed” animals…)
The outlook was good this time. While we were standing in line, Joe seemed pretty interested. He watched other kids sit on EB’s lap, waved several times to “the” bunny, and even shook his hand. But, when it came time to sit on the big, white, fuzzy lap, it was a no-go. So, he sat with Daddy, next to EB. Joe was pretty skeptical, but at least he wasn’t screaming. This was as close as we could get to a smile from him. (Those photographers at Flatiron Crossings earned their keep, making several attempts to win Joe over. But he wasn’t having any of it, though he did try to steal the “clapper” noisemaker they were using and several styrofoam Easter eggs.)
Mr. Fixit tightens the leg on a chair
It has been pretty firmly established: Dad is where it’s at. Everywhere I go, everything I do, Joe is following right along and wanting to get involved in some way. If I have a drill out for something, I have to give him his own drill (he has several plastic tools) and allow him to help get the job done. He helps with gardening, laundry, cleaning, checking email, and any attempted home repairs. He wants to do everything just like “Dada!”
This really is an amazing time. He’s beginning to recognize and explore his autonomy (and yes, exerting his will). We’ve known for some time that he’s exceptionally strong and fast! But now his fine motor skills are developing to the point where he can manipulate objects and come close to using things as they’re intended. And to my delight, his imagination is emerging so that he can use things as they’re not intended just as well! As home-fixer-uppers, we’re ecstatic to see Joe reaching a point where we can give him some instruction and modeling and he can occupy himself imitating us while we tackle some of the things we need to accomplish on the house (for at least a couple of minutes at a time). He’s even starting to take these chores and turning them into his games.
Joseph Daniel Snow Removal, Inc.
Our first foray into sledding this past weekend is a perfect example. We got several inches of snow followed by some crazy low temperatures. The snow on the roads was tightly packed and nice and slick. It was perfect for a trip out with the new pull-behind sled that we bought to take Joe snowshoeing after Christmas. He had a blast. Shortly afterwards, he had almost as much fun as we learned to shovel snow. ”Push, push, push, push, stop. Dump!” (This last part set him to giggling every time.) All of this activity set him up for a day with Mommy today.
Shannon has been doing an occasional childcare swap with the mother of a little girl. Maggie’s and Joe’s birthdays are a day apart. They are so alike in many ways that it can be surprising.
Joe and Maggie sledding
Perhaps it’s her more advanced vocabulary. Perhaps it’s Joe’s helpful nature. Whichever the case, she can boss him around to the point where he’ll fetch toys on command! Today, Mommy and the “twins” went out onto the neighbors’ driveway to play with the sled, and Joe (always ready to move, lift, drag, hoist, or carry anything) got the chance to play draught pony to Maggie’s delight.
Sweet little Maggie has our little Joe whipped. It seems that Joe has an Alpha Woman in his life…just like “Dada!”
Click on the picture for a video snippet
Our little weed may be a broadleaf, who knows! Joe is still a peanut in height at about 31 inches* and weighing in right around 25 pounds (but he’s pushing nearly past a size 18-24, and his Flinstone feet have swelled him into a size 7). Our recent visit to see Joe’s cousin Kaden in California, who is about a week older and probably 5 inches taller, proved Joe’s peanut status! (This time we took videos, so as soon as I can figure out how to edit, we’ll upload some of those.) Here’s a quickie update on the latest milestones and moments:
Favorite Halloween costume: Jimi Hendrix. Joe dressed up as an adorable jester on Halloween, but the Jimi Hendrix costume he wore to Boo at the Zoo was the real winner, especially since he wore mommy’s vintage suede fringed vest from when she was little!
Favorite Parent: still “Dada”
Favorite Food: dried soybeans (hey, this is the kid who loves salad)
Favorite Song: anything by the Imagination Movers. He also likes the songs from the super-cool Blue Moo album.
Favorite Quiet Time Activity: drawing with crayons or pens
Favorite motion: galloping like a horse or hopping like a bunny
Favorite Toy: It’s a tie between the toy cleaning cart with vacuum (just like mommy’s), broom, mop, etc. and the Playskool Air-tivity Busy Ball Popper
Recent “firsts:” signing please, saying please (“peas”) and thank you (“tank yu”), sitting on the potty on his own without first putting it on his head (we’re just introducing the potty concept), enjoying having his teeth brushed (he likes to use his own toothbrush, then he lets mommy or daddy use a baby finger brush), getting baths in the “big boy” bathtub (the clawfoot) and, of course, all the ones that we’re not thrilled about, including climbing/falling out of his crib (once), tantrums, pulling hair, picking his nose (and eating it), and getting hysterical at the doctor’s office. Hello, Terrible Twos.
Newest achievement: he’s off bottle entirely!
“Highest” achievement: using the chair to climb onto the table, then climbing onto the window sill and hanging on by the window molding while hitting the window. (Except for that time last month when Joe climbed onto the radiator and pounded against the front window, I’ve never seen Dan react so quickly!) Joe also pushes his potty to wall, then stands on it, to reach the light switch.
Latest words: Please, thank you (both signed too), Joe, water (wa wa), down, wow, uh-oh. Joe’s still not articulating much these days, and the doctor wants us to lose the binkies. I have to admit that he makes more sense and talks more when he doesn’t have anything in his mouth.
Favorite TV: The Monkey Boys. OK, it’s not a show, but the puppet “hosts” of Disney’s morning kids programming. Joe stops and looks at the TV everytime he hears Did the monkey mail come? Did the monkey mail come? The monkey mail came. Well, who’s it from? He also likes the Imagination Movers, Wiggles, and Johnny and the Sprites. He isn’t as interested in cartoons, though. Joe has, however, started pointing to the TV in our room when he wants us to turn it on. He doesn’t sit and watch. Instead, he ignores the TV and plays until a song comes on, then he’ll start dancing! Oh, and if mommy’s watching TV, he generally ignores it…unless Rachel Ray comes on. I swear, the kid gawks at pretty girls!
Latest “test” for mama: the quivering-lip open-mouthed I-want-something-I-can’t-have cry, which still is not nearly as effective as the puppy-dog whine he’s mastered.
Worst travel moment: screaming and crying for 20 minutes on the plane to California for Thanksgiving. Definitely the worst kid on that flight (yes, we were “that” family), but he did sleep the rest of the time. And he was an angel on the return flight.
Next steps: potty training. Ugh.
*There is some dispute about his height. He’s now terrified of the doctor’s office (thanks, Kaiser Permanente and your terrible bedside manner), so it was virtually impossible to measure him accurately. Based on how far his little head (‘fro not included) pokes up over the table, we estimate he is approximately 31 inches high.
The last month or so has been a wild ride at our house. Dan’s mom (Nana to Joe) moved out here about the third week of July in the midst of a crazy hot and long heat wave. At the end of the month, we took Joe to the Dragon Boat races on a blistering hot Sunday and ate snowcones while hovering under a lone sparse tree on the opposite side of the lake. (Can you tell it wasn’t my favorite day?) Then, in the middle of August, Dan and I flew with Joe to Reno, rented a car, and drove to Twin Lakes (just outside of Bridgeport) to go camping with my family, where the heat continued unabated. (Global warming sucks.)
In between these adventures, we’ve been working (frantically) on the basement because Dan’s stepmom (Grammie Lo to Joe) was planning to come out for a visit shortly after we returned from our camping trip. Well, the good news is that the guest room was livable by the time she arrived (it had a floor, baseboards, and a bed).
Laura’s visit was nice. She was such a trooper and dragged Joe all around town, to the park, the zoo, and the local deli around the corner. (Rumor has it that Al Gore was spotted in front of the flower shop around the corner from our house while she and Joe were across the street at the park. Unfortunately, they missed him! If that was him… It could have been. There are some muckety-mucks in our ‘hood — well, the nicer part, a few blocks away — including the mayor and an ambassador, maybe? I see those international limos with all the flags every now and then.)
Laura even jumped on the bus to downtown with Joe and ran the gauntlet of security at the Pepsi Center so that she could get a photo of them in front of the “08 DNC” signs (with her local paper). Grammie Lo also taught Joe that the half-dozen stuffed elephants he acquired when he was born (because mommy went on a random elephant hunt — it’s over now) are called “Republicans.” She also threatened to buy him a donkey! He he he. We still can’t understand him, so it will be interesting to see what he calls elephants when he does talk. I can only imagine the looks of bewildered strangers at the zoo when he does make sense!
The last few weeks have been spent helping Nana get situated in her new condo, helping Noni P sell her two houses in California (so far, both are under contract — woo hoo!), and continuing to work on our house. (In addition to finishing the basement, we’ve had a historic window restoration guy tuning up our disfunctional-but-in-good-condition-windows and building new storms, so hopefully we won’t freeze this winter!) Dan had to go to Indianapolis for a few days for a conference a couple of weeks ago. And today, his new boss started at the office! He’s got several more conferences (most local) in the next couple of months. Joe and I will probably accompany him to Breckenridge in early October to see the fall trees. We’re looking forward to that!
When Joseph came into our lives, one of the things that we promised ourselves was to do everything in our power to expose him to other kids in similar circumstances. There’s one obvious place to do that: heritage camp, which is a place for transracial adoptive families to learn more about their kids’ culture and and to connect with other adoptive families. Camps are usually broken into cultural groups, so there’s a Chinese Heritage Camp, Indian Heritage Camp, Cambodian Heritage Camp and so on and so forth; you get the idea.
We’re lucky enough that we have one of the biggie camp organizations right here in our back yard. So, a couple of weeks ago, we drove up to Snow Mountain Ranch (a YMCA camp near Winter Park, CO) for a long weekend of (the 10th annual) African/Caribbean Heritage Camp. Our camp was geared for kids who were adopted either internationally from Africa or the Caribbean, or domestically within North America. There was something for everyone. Altogether there were about 41 families there and I expect that number will grow dramatically next year.
We stayed in one of the lodges at the Y. Some folks camped or stayed in hotels or rental houses nearby, so there were plenty of options. Winter Park was lovely in July and the wildflowers were in bloom, but it saddened us deeply to see the extent of the blight caused by the pine beetle, especially in and past Fraser, Colorado. (Look behind Joe for an example of the dead trees. In fact, the YMCA was doing some serious clearing, which made shade a depressing rarity. Despite this, it was still a wonderful place for camp.)
The camp was parent-run, so it was a little confusing at first for us as newbies. But soon enough, we realized what an awesome experience it is for all family members. I was particularly amazed at the way even shy kids who were first-timers were drawn into the midst of a wild hoard of happy campers in no time flat. Wow, these kids really connected! The camp had parent sessions and kid sessions (broken down by age) as well as recreational activities (like a marshmallow roast – yum!), a marketplace, and all the cool stuff the Y had available (horseback riding, mountain biking, rock climbing, you name it). Joe was still too little to participate in the kids’ programming, so he was either in daycare with some awesome counselors or with us.
This was Joe’s very first “daycare” experience and he really seemed to enjoy it (except for that last day when he was starting to get super clingy and only for daddy, but that’s another story!)…
Here’s a photo of Joe on the first day of camp during lunch. We had arrived late the night of check-in and our room was overlooking a common area in a building where the bigger Cambodian camp was located. Kids ran wild until the 11pm quiet time, and Joe had a difficult time getting to sleep. We would have sent him into the fray if he had been old enough, but we’ll probably try to find another family or two with smaller kiddos to share a cabin next year, then go back to the thick of it once Joe is old enough to run with the crowd.
The food at the dining hall was surprisingly edible (Dan really enjoyed it and there were a ton of options even for picky and healthy eaters). We had no problem feeding Joseph a healthy meal. And the camp-provided lunches were yummy (the second day was an Ethiopian spread).
The parent sessions were pretty good and addressed a number of topics (ranging from adoption to parenting to hair/skincare). There were also parent roundtables and guest speakers/keynotes, who were really interesting and impressive this year: Arthur MacFarlane (grandson of W.E.B. DuBois), who talked about his grandfather’s legacy, and Demetrius Walker, an inspiring young entrepreneur who shared his success story. Hearing from the adult adoptees was also eye-opening and helped us reinforce some of the difficult, but good choices we’ve made.
All in all, it was a successful, if exhausting weekend. We might tack on a couple of days next year and make a real vacation out of it. (There’s soooo much to do at the Y too…) Bottom line: we’ll be at heritage camp until Joe stops going (hopefully he won’t stop and will contribute as an adult alumnus). We owe it to him, and ourselves. If you’ve been considering a heritage camp, all I can say is “GO!” You won’t regret it and your kids will love it! If you’re considering Colorado’s African/Heritage Caribbean Camp next year (the last week in July (23-26, I think), feel free to contact me. I’m actually helping with newcomer coordination next year.
And if you’re wondering why Joe did not wear his camp t-shirt at camp, it’s because it was huge. I mean huge…a child’s extra small, not a toddler size. When we put it on him, he kept falling over because it came down to his ankles. Maybe next year, he’ll get a shirt that fits! OK, and it was pink, which really didn’t bother us (me) much, though I really didn’t want to have to explain that he was a boy (the only boy under 3, I think…oh, he’s gonna have fun when he gets older!)
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