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It’s been far too long since we’ve posted a blog entry. So, here’s the rundown of the last three months of life with the Lawrences.
Christmas in the Mountains. My family planned a last-minute vacation to the Rocky Mountains. Dad, Deb, four siblings, and Nonie flew out and met us at a cabin in Winter Park. I’ve been moaning about having a white Christmas tucked away in a cabin for years…since I was a teenager, and this year, I got my wish. You don’t know how BIG this is, since my family is all about tradition, and tradition with the Nuttalls means Christmas morning at Dad’s house with Nonie there, then we nap, then we go to Aunt Marlane’s house for dinner. It’s been that way…well, as long as I can remember. (Of course, I’ve been the black sheep for missing the occasional Christmas.) So we stayed in the mountains and it snowed, brilliantly. I relished in the quietude of the cabin for 4 days; Dan, Billy, and Daniel went snowboarding; it was Dan’s first time and he came back a bit tender. All of the kids (and Dad) went tubing on the last day. Fun! Joe loved the snow and got to wear his uber cute snow suit (thanks Plo!).
The Move. As soon as Christmas was over, we hustled back home to prepare for the move (the next day). But, we have a knack for poor planning when it comes to moves. We had a blizzard on our scheduled move date, so that threw life into a tizzy. Not to mention that we weren’t anywhere close to packed and the new house wasn’t ready to move into. The movers came a few days later. We still weren’t very ready. Dan’s bruised tailbone was bugging him too. We managed to get our bedroom and Joe’s room set up, but we were up to our eyeballs (literally) with boxes in the living room and dining room. We went back on the 31st to clear out the dregs of our stuff. Thank goodness we had a Uhaul trailer because it, the truck, and my car were full to the brim. We caravaned home like the Beverly Hillbillys and barely made it to the new house to see the ball drop. I definitely don’t recommended moving in the winter with an infant.
Visit with the G-mas. Right after we moved, Dan’s mom (Germom) and grandma (Noni P) came out for a visit for a few days. Really, they were here to look at assisted living homes for Noni P. We looked at a few and managed to squeeze in an evening at Zoo Lights, which is really cool (the zoo is entirely lit with colored lights). Good news: Noni P is moving out here! She’s working on selling her properties and relocating. We’re so excited to have her close by!
Health Setbacks. The day Germom and Noni P left, Dan threw out his back…badly. We went to urgent care the next day. They medicated him and told him to rest for a few days. Well, a few days later, Dan felt better, bent over to pick up something off the ground, and –wham!– he completely threw out his back. We got him to bed and there he stayed for about a week. He wasn’t much improved for a couple of weeks after that. It was rough. He’s been going to physically therapy and is now back at work, but he’s not supposed to bend or lift anything (not even Joe). In the middle of all of that, both Joe and I got really sick with the “4 week” virus that’s been going around. It lasted two solid weeks, then lingered. Joe also got an ear infection. He’s better now; so am I. We’re not sure about Dan, who might be coming down with something right now.
The House, Unpacking, and Remodeling. Well, all of the above set us back with the house. After a few weeks, I finally unpacked what I could and got all boxes into the dining room, so that at least the living room was set up. Thankfully our neighbors (angels that they are) had helped us paint. No, they painted, most of the rooms in our house before we moved in. We just have the mud room, the hallway, the sun room, the living room, and all the trim to do. At my dad’s urging, we hired someone to frame and drywall the basement. We probably couldn’t have managed it on our own even in stellar health, so that was a good call. It’s taken longer than expected, partly because we weren’t able to do all the prep work we had planned before hiring the job out, so the drywall guy has had to do a lot of our work (like moving a bunch of junk out of the basement, finishing projects we had started, and dealing with all the quirks and mysteries of a 90-year-old house). But that, along with other projects (plumbing, roof, appliances, etc.) drained our budget, so the remodel is coming to somewhat of a screeching halt…very soon. The drywall is a day or so away from being finished, then we can paint. We can probably do the trim, too, but the bathroom and floors downstairs will have to wait. Ditto with the kitchen and the major wood/room divider project in the entryway. Not to mention that Dan can’t really do much. His tools are in Greeley and he can’t load or unload them given his back situation. I’ve been trying to do little things, mostly electrical, when I can. Dan’s been doing some of that too, but there’s only so much we can do at the moment.
Joe’s New Playmate. My work situation is in flux and I knew I was losing my bennies, so we found a family with whom we could share nanny costs. That started in January. The socialization is great for Joe, even if the 11-month-old girl he’s in daycare with kind of bullies him around and steals his binky and toys. Ha! I figure they’ll work it out on their own. Unfortunately, the other family needs more hours than the nanny can’t provide, so we got two weeks of notice this past weekend and we’re frantically looking for a new family to share nanny costs. So far, no luck because the hours are a bit weird (I only work about 15+ hours a week with the cutbacks). Keep your fingers crossed for us!
The Weed in General. Thankfully, Joe’s slowing down in the growth department. He’s 28 inches long and still just 18 pounds, 11-3/4 ounces (as of January 31st). The 12-month clothes fit perfectly even if we have a hard time finding big (wide) enough socks and shoes for his little Flintstone feet (he’s between a size 3 and size 4 in toddler shoes). Joe’s really close to being fully mobile. He’s almost crawling…definitely scooting and rolling to get to a desired destination. He’s pulling himself up to a sitting or kneeling position (we had to lower his crib). I also just ordered a slew of gates to install around the house and we’re frantically trying to childproof everything before the little guy really gets mobile. I think we have a week or so. The extra physical activity is probably keeping him stable, if not slimming him down a bit. We’ve also finally got Joe on a schedule both for feeding (three meals a day plus bottles) and sleeping in his crib — in his room — at night. But between the cold, the ear infection, and teething (but none have broken through yet), he’s a bit fussy at night and only sleeps in 4-hour stretches…after a diaper change, new binky, or sometimes a bottle, he goes right back down. So far, the transition has been relatively easy….certainly easier than I expected.
Progress on the Adoption. Several folks have asked if it’s “official” yet, so thought I’d set the record straight. We should have finalized in late November or early December, but that didn’t happen because of several delays (I won’t go into the blame game this time). But no worries, just an annoyance. In mid-January, our social worker came over for another visit (she had to update our homestudy because of the new house, and we had to sign some documents requesting a court date). She submitted the court documents and we finally got our date: April 25th. Yeah, it’s way out there. Apparently that’s the best that they could do. Joe will be 11 months old on that day. But then it’ll all be official. We’re quite excited. For those not familiar with the whole adoption thing, many adoptive families celebrate this date annually as “Gotcha Day,” the day it becomes official. It can be a pretty big deal. Stay tuned…we may be throwing a little shindig on the Saturday following his finalization.
That’s it for now. I’ll try to post more regularly in the near future.
That’s what we felt like today when we got a phone call this afternoon from the social worker on this end. She still needs our reference letters, which we expected would be included with that infamous FedEx package. But, it turns out that the “questionnaires” our references completed for the homestudy are so confidential that our agency couldn’t share them as reference letters, not even with the baby’s agency (and we certainly don’t have copies).
Unfortunately, all of this wasn’t figured out until this afternoon when the social worker here was finally able to review our paperwork. Now we can’t leave until we produce letters. (Waaaa…I so want to go home!) Fortunately, the letters don’t need to be notarized or original (whew!), so today has been a mad dash to round up references by fax or email on short notice. We’ve almost got them together, thanks to some really awesome friends (you know who you are)!
But, there’s now some question if we’ll actually be able to escape from “Alcatraz” (aka, our dumpy hotel) on Friday as we had hoped. We may have to stay until next week (hopefully not longer). I know several of you, especially grandfolks, are getting anxious to meet baby Joe in person. If we don’t get the thumbs up to leave by Friday, you’re welcome to come and hang out with us over the weekend…just let us know!
I’ve decided that the adoption process is somehow intended to give wannabe parents a taste of the craziness that often accompanies life-with-kids.
Last week, we had nearly come to the conclusion that our only option was to switch local homestudy agencies. We agonized about this possibility for a week. We documented everything. We flipped. We flopped. We made arguments for and against switching. We played devil’s advocate. We looked at pros, at cons, at the reasons for “sucking it up.” We posted questions to several forums and friends. And we read scores of responses. We even talked to other agencies, including our international agency. Everyone seemed to have a different opinion about what to do next (which didn’t make our decision any easier), but we did gain some valuable insight and comfort in the advice.
I know that the CBI requested a name check for me on 4/19. I know that the FBI responded on 4/25. I know that a particular person (name withheld) at the CBI put that response in the mail that same day to the Colorado Department of Human Services, who will then, in turn, mail the response to my local agency. Why? Because I made a 3-minute phone call.
I know that the interagency agreement (what CO needs before our two agencies can “talk” to one another) was received by one person at my international agency’s office on Wednesday. I know that another person who does contract review will get to it next week. Why? Because Dan made a 3-minute phone call.
This is something I used to do well, but in the last 10 years, second-guessing my gut has resulted in, well, getting gut-punched several times. The fact that my gut doesn’t really clue me in until after we’re well invested (emotionally) makes changing course that much more difficult. And even logical, rational Dan trusts my gut, which is why I can’t ignore it anymore.
I’ve had an “iffy” feeling about our local homestudy agency from the get-go (for those in the know, think wedding photography — shudder).
We’re just waiting. Waiting for showings. Waiting to sell our home. Waiting to move. Waiting for my fingerprints name check from the FBI. Waiting for our homestudy to be finalized once that name check comes through. Waiting for a new version of our homestudy to be written for our dossier. Waiting for the last couple of documents for our dossier. Waiting to be on the “wait list.” Waiting for our children.
Waiting is not an easy skill for a woman of little patience. So today, we turned waiting on it’s head. We went for an afternoon bike ride. We pedaled leisurely for about 10 miles, had an early dinner, then pedaled back. We waited to clean the house. We waited to pack for impending trips. We waited to “catch up on work.” We even waited to mow the lawn or turn the mulch or wash the windows. I figure that every now and then it’s ok for life to wait on us.
that the CBI (Colorado Bureau of Investigation) totally rocks! I gave up on the idea that my homestudy agency or my social worker (despite their promises to contact the CBI) was going to do anything to help me out with the status of my FBI fingerprints, which got very confused mainly because the homestudy agency didn’t follow the instructions properly or give me copies of the original FBI rejection (that had the instructions) — until recently (when I finally got copies of these last week, I realized that something probably went wrong).
So, I called the CBI on a lark this afternoon. A few minutes ago, I talked with the most helpful person I’ve ever dealt with during this whole adoption process.
Still no word on the second round of fingerprints. It’s been one month, exactly, since I submitted them. My fingerprints are the only thing holding up our homestudy, and thus, the adoption process. Normally I’d be fussy and worried, but we just finished taxes (tonight) and our bank accounts are looking rather grim. Our social worker reminded us that as soon as the homestudy is finished (meaning as soon as our fingerprints come in), we’ll owe the second installment to our Colorado agency. That’s not a huge deal, but not long thereafter (as soon as the homestudy is “official”), we’ll owe a big whopping payment to the international agency. So, the fact that our fingerprints are delaying things doesn’t have me too upset. Not yet anyhow.
I almost redid my fingerprints today. But something just wasn’t right so I took a close look at the rejected card and it had a February date stamp. Since I submitted my second set of prints in March, the rejected card must be the first one I submitted, not the second. So, there’s still a (slim?) chance that the second set of prints could be accepted. Our adoption agency is checking into the situation. There’s no telling how long (or short) the delay will be at this point. But I’ve got my fingers crossed that the second set might be accepted and at least save me the hassle of another trip to the county jail. (Speaking of which, does everyone have to go to the jail or booking station to get their prints done, or is that just a local quirk because I live in cow town? It’s kind of creepy…)
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