You’d think that, 13 months down the road and well after finalization, getting Joe a valid birth certificate shouldn’t still be an issue. But it is.

When we filled out the paperwork for Joe’s finalization, we completed a form for the State of Colorado’s Office of Vital Records requesting several birth certificates for Joe. For those not in the know, Joe’s original birth certificate went into a sealed file that only he can open after he’s 18. We have nothing but a Decree of Finalization to prove that Joe exists. And that’s really beginning to be a problem.

Joe needs a social security number (which requires his birth certificate) in order that we may do such basic things as file our 2007 taxes* and switch Joe’s health insurance (again, a long story for another post). But we’d also like to set up a 528 education fund among other things. It’s amazing how ham-stringed we are without this stupid piece of paper. (You may remember from a previous post that Joe cannot fly as a lap infant on Southwest because he doesn’t have a birth certificate.)

Our check to Vital Records was finally cashed in late May. A few days ago, I got a bit worried and decided to do some follow up. Several unreturned phone calls and emails later, I still had nothing, so I hoofed it — Joe in tow — to Colorado’s vital records office. After spending the better part of the day there with a very messy and fussy Joe, I discovered that Colorado can’t reissue Joe’s birth certificates because he wasn’t born in Colorado. As I stood there fuming and nearly in tears, ready to curse our social worker and agency to very bad places for screwing it all up again, it hit me — sort of like a pie in the face — that this could very well be my oversight. The idea that we’d have to deal with another state just never crossed our minds. I just presumed that Colorado would issue Joe’s new birth certificate the same way they would in the case of international adoption (about which we were better informed). But that’s not how it works. What really happens is that Colorado forwards all of the submitted paperwork to the child’s state of birth. Then that vital records office re-issues the new birth certificates. A light bulb in my momma brain finally turned on. Ohhhh…which quickly turned into “oh no.”

The local folks kindly gave me the general number for the out-of-state office I needed to call. I made sure my blood-sugar levels were within the normal range and dialed. It took a few hours and a couple of calls to reach the right person, and I was floored by even more bad news: Joe’s state of birth was six months — months — behind in certificate processing. We could expect ours in late November as they had only received the paperwork from Colorado in late May. I almost didn’t know what to say. Almost.

As the repercussions of this news swirled in my brain, I took a deep breath. I wasn’t about to give up. There had to be another way. We were told that we could reapply via overnight mail, which takes about 10 days, but we’d have to send a new check, a certified copy of his finalization decree (of which we have only one), and an application. A prepaid return envelope would ensure rapid return. I was having a difficult time understanding how — if they had our paperwork, and I had a returned check — why they couldn’t just process it quickly given our circumstances. I offered to pay extra for the rush, but that wasn’t an option. So, I started the sob story — Joe couldn’t get health insurance, the IRS will only give us until October — then I resorted to good old-fashioned begging.

The kind kind lady on the other end of the phone finally gave in, especially when I explained that the cashed check was a rather hefty amount because we paid Colorado’s rates (and someone miscalculated, so we ended up sending extra funds too). She offered to expedite Joe’s birth certificates if we overnighted a request explaining our conversation along with a copy of the certified decree. We could send a prepaid envelope for the return or rely on regular mail, our choice. $35 and a day later, the weight of the world has started to lift from my shoulders. I just got a call telling me that Joe’s birth certificates are “in the mail.” The second they arrive, I’ll do the happy dance, then do the whole rigmarole again over at the social security office. Wish me luck and the ability to keep my death grip on sanity.

*We could have applied for an ATIN (Adoptee Taxpayer Identification Number), but they take 4-8 weeks to process; the ATIN only works for taxes (and you still can’t take the dependent credit without a social security number). Unfortunately, I didn’t figure this out until April 14th and we were so close to finalization that I figured a few extra weeks wouldn’t matter while we waited for birth certificates and Joe’s social security card.

Joe’s mobility is starting to get the better of us. Joe can run. He likes to be free of the confines of Bjorn and stroller and be on his own. He refuses to hold one of our hands. And he’s usually headed — fast — for something to shove into his mouth. Or straight off the edge of a stairway. He’s definitely “that kid” who will, without missing a beat, run off the edge of a pier (or a cliff, God help me). So, Dan’s comic yesterday was rather apropos.

After several attempts to hurl himself off the edge of our bed (he’s fearless) — and several “split seconds” when Joe dashed through an open gate in the house to an off-limits room — I decided that we probably couldn’t get far out of doors unless we kept Joe on a short leash, literally. Dan requested that we at least do the “cute backpack thing.” So I bought Joe a teddy backpack with a “tail” that attached to my wrist. Joe and I tried it at the zoo yesterday.

After he decided that all the scary people and “new” surrounds were okay (despite the fact that he’s been to the zoo a thousand times), Joe wandered around, but not far from me. We probably didn’t need the harness that day, though I suspect if I had let him loose without it, he would have been off like Speedy Gonzales. Did I mention that he’s a sneaky little thing too?

I knew when I decided to get a harness that I’d have to endure everyone else’s opinions. As we walked through the zoo, we did receive several comments. Most were along the lines of “hey, that’s neat!” or “Zack needs one of those!” My favorite peanut gallery comment, however, came out of the mouth of a babe: “look mommy, that baby has a leash.” I smirked, and walked on.

Some people may be offended by the concept of “leashing” a child. I did my best to choose a system that was as discreet as possible…mainly for our own sensibilities. But, to those folks who take issue with our decision, I will choke back the desire to say “bite me!” and instead say this: it really depends on the kid. My kid’s a runner. Maybe your kid isn’t. But if he was, maybe you’d think twice? After all, you care enough to keep your dog from running into the street so that he won’t get hit by a car. Don’t you love your child as much? I do.

Postscript: OK, after I reread this, I realized how defensive I was with this post. So far, we’re received nothing but really positive and supportive comments about our decision to harness Joe. (On the other hand, we’ve used it once in public.) And on an unrelated note, I’ve been getting a lot more really positive smiles and comments about Joe (and us as a family) in general lately from all sorts of people. Joe and I were just in Walmart this afternoon and I had at least one AA man and four AA women stop and comment about how cute Joe was. (Actually, I think the guy was flirting with me, which I found really flattering; he was cute!) Maybe it helped that I actually did Joe’s hair before we left the house, so he didn’t have bedhead!

I needed a diversion during my lunch today and started playing with a new online toy called Bitstrips. Maybe I’ll find time to play some more later.

I’m not sure why I’ve been so hesitant to post news and tidbits of information lately. Maybe it’s because I’ve been lousy about taking pictures of anything except stuff I’ve been posting to Craigslist. (We’re having a huge house clean out and a yard/block sale this weekend.*) I guess I’m feeling guilty that I don’t keep a camera always in hand when chasing around the amazing Joseph, our own little Houdini, who manages to escape most barriers and get into everything. But he’s also doing some pretty cool new things. I have no new pictures today, but I do have a couple of stories to share. Kind of like the difference between watching something on TV and listening on the radio, I guess. The radio can still be entertaining.

The big new thing for me is that Joseph is putting things INTO other things. Until this week, Dan always called Joe a master of entropy. He’d empty a wagon, bucket, or basket full of anything. But putting them back in? No way. If we put them back in, he’d give us a look as if he was morally offended, then frantically throw everything out again. I had horrible visions of life in a disaster zone where my kid would never clean up anything. But a few days ago, I found my Crocs (that I had taken off and left in Joe’s playroom) inside his Megablocks wagon. Joe had been in the playroom for at least 10 minutes while I “rested my eyes” on the adjacent couch. I was listening to him bang and throw this and that and expected to open my eyes to the usual disaster area. But it was tidy — I mean tidy – when I looked up. There were a couple of small toys tossed over the gate, but otherwise all the blocks, Weebles, miscellaneous toys (and my shoes) were piled into some container. I beamed. I was one proud mommy. Now if I can only convince him that stacking the blocks is a good thing…

The other kind of funny and interesting new thing that Joe is doing is walking backwards. Yes, backwards! And he knows that it’s clever because he’s constantly checking to see if we’re watching him while he does it. He’s pretty good at it, but he does end up going in circles most of the time. This morning, he started windmilling his arms frantically while he walked backwards. And, no, he wasn’t losing his balance. What a little show off! I so wish we could capture that on video. Dan’s looking into a little pocket video camera good for web-only video. Maybe that will be a good option for us for now.

Joe went in for his 12-month doctor’s visit on Wednesday. The doctor was quite impressed at his physical, social, and verbal development. Woo hoo!

Joe is right on target for growth, weighing in at 22 lbs and exactly 30 inches tall. Joe is at the upper end (and growing out of some) of his 12-month-sized clothes; he’s already started wearing 18-month-sized clothes. He wears a size 5 toddler shoe (tightly, we just tried on a pair of size 6 sneakers and they have just a little growing room). He wears a size 4 diaper.

The doctor thought Joe was well-behaved and good natured (which we already knew) and quite social for his age. Joe didn’t fight the doctor’s examination as we (and the doctor) had expected (but I have to give credit to Dr. Rich, who is an angel with the little ones). Joe only cried a short while at the end of the visit after four immunizations and two blood tests and quieted down almost immediately once he got his binky.

The fact that Joe is walking, and walking well, was apparently quite impressive. We can expect Joe to toddle for quite awhile longer. The doctor reassured me when I made a joking comment about getting Joe an inflatable sumo suit that the young human skull makes a fine helmet for everyday bumps and bruises. So no baby bubble for now, but I’m not ruling it out. Ha!

On a cognitive level, Joe is doing quite well and starting to respond to verbal cues (e.g., follow our commands), like “go get the ball” and “lay your head on the bed; it’s nap time.” Joe’s verbal development is just fine: he says repetitive phonemes, “dadada” “nanana,” just started “mamama,” and is also combining multiple phonemes. He’s also trying to mimic/repeat some things we say. And he’s starting to say “Dada” when Dan is around, though we’re not convinced he associates meaning with it yet. Joe also uses two signs: “more” and “change” (he likes a dry, clean diaper). Unfortunately, in the past week or so, Joe has also figured out how to express “no” by shaking his head back-and-forth. It’s mostly a game. At least he’s not saying it constantly, but I’m sure that day will come. Oh, and Joe is also whistling by pursing his lips and breathing heavy.

Dr. Rich did comment that Joe was very active and functioned “at a high rpm.” In fact, Joe was moving non-stop during the visit, playing with tongue depressors, tearing up magazines and books, and running back and forth in the exam room. He only stopped (or slowed down) when Dan or I held him. The doctor also commented that the speed with which Joe moves must require incredible childproofing in our house. Ha! Now we don’t feel so bad about corralling Joe in specific rooms. The doctor seemed impressed that we had the stamina and energy to keep up with him, but didn’t think anything was unusual in Joe’s behavior. Just a (high energy) boy.

It was good to hear from the doctor that Joe’s skin looked really good. I recently switched from petrolatum (aka “Vaseline or, in our case, Aquaphor) to a more natural solution for Joe’s head-to-toe eczema (raw/unrefined shea butter and we’re also trying a shea butter/coconut oil/kokum butter concoction). It takes a little extra work reapplying multiple times a day, but I feel better about using a non-chemical option, at least until Joe goes to school.

Now we need to transition Joe to cow’s milk and get him off the bottle. I’m a little worried about the milk since Joe had so much trouble finding a formula that didn’t upset his digestive system. The doctor didn’t seem worried and suggested soy as an option if we run into problems with regular milk. Once again, Dr. Rich did gently encourage us to “find a week” to work on Joe’s sleep patterns. (Joe gets up several times a night, and often ends up in our bed in the wee hours of the morning.) The problem is primarily me; I just can’t stand letting him cry, both because it’s wrenching and because I can’t sleep through it. I might have to suck it up and put in those ear plugs.

They say time flies, and it does. Joe turned one year old this Memorial Day weekend. I still can’t believe it.

Since we just had his finalization celebration and the greater fam wasn’t planning to visit, we opted to have a small, casual celebration with just the four of us (including Noni P). We went out to lunch. The waitstaff sang “happy birthday” to Joe with a lighted candle on a plate and scared the bejeepers out of him. (Note to self: no loud singing for first birthdays.)

Why the candle and no cake? Uncompromising parents that we are, we opted for a sugar-free “cake,” and we decided to spare the poor folks at the restaurant from a 1-year-old-birthday-cake mess, so we took the celebration to Noni P’s place, laid out a tablecloth (we forgot his booster seat with tray), and sat Joe on the floor with his not-so-sugary delight. The (cup)cake was a sugar-free banana cake recipe that I amended with extra fruit/moisture. More of a banana bread, but not too bad. I did splurge by adding mini chocolate chips (just a few) and covered the whole thing in light whipping cream and chopped strawberries.

I don’t think it would have mattered if the cake was all sugar, Joe just wasn’t all that interested. He got more joy out of the disposable tablecloth we laid on the floor. Noni P did encourage him to try a bite. He seemed to enjoy the whipped cream and strawberries, and kept going back for more. I think she snuck in some super yummy (read: sugary) ice cream, but that’s ok. In the end, though, Joe just didn’t want to indulge us with a cake-in-the-face scenario. He was far too busy running around the sunroom in circles trying to destroy anything and everything he could.

We seriously need to get a video camera. These photos just don’t capture a 1-year-old windmilling his arms while running (and wobbling and stumbling and righting himself and eventually falling).

Ducky 2 arrived in the mail last week. I was starting to think that Joe didn’t miss Ducky after all, but once he laid eyes on the soft furry yellow critter, he lit up. Ducky hasn’t left Joe’s side since his “reappearance.” Now, instead of just taking Ducky to bed, Joe looks for Ducky during the day and drags the thing around as much as we let him.

Here are a couple of photos of Joe with Ducky. In the photo on the left, Joe is driving his “bumper car” while holding Ducky in his mouth (he also chews on Ducky in lieu of his binky). In the photo on the right, Joe is hiding from me by covering his face with Ducky. He also does this when he’s tired and wants to go to sleep.

Every time we travel, something gets left behind or damaged beyond repair: Dan’s prescription sunglasses in Cape Cod, Dan’s new Crocs in Oklahoma, my prescription sunglasses in California; the list goes on, and on, and on…

Our most recent loss was a real tragedy: Joe’s duck blankie. He normally doesn’t sleep without it. It was definitely on the road to woobie-dom and in need of a “vacation” (read: wash). But “Ducky” really was his favorite.

Joe is actually doing okay, all things considered, and we’ve distracted him with other blankies and stuffed animals. Thankfully, after much internet searching, I found a replacement, which is on the way priority mail. It will hopefully fit the bill (no pun intended).

I’m almost wondering if I should order an extra (or two or three). On the other hand, he’ll soon be able to memorize every smudge, mark, and blemish, so I’m not sure if that’s the best solution. But the panic I felt upon realizing that Ducky was gone was quite real, and it made me wonder what other folks do about baby’s favorite animal or woobie. Any suggestions?